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Sure there are exceptions, where female rapists use physical force, but after having met an alarming number of female rapists, I think the most common way is to pressure their victim with his own arousal until he breaks, often blameing the resulting "assault" on the victim even afterwards. It's common rape - using force to force someone into sex against his will (because lust isn't will, and very few wants to rape someone no matter how aroused) - but I wonder if they really see it that way. I think female rapists force their victims into a traditional gender role - where women are submissive and men dominant - and also tells themselves that they really wanted it, just as their male counterparts. It's a sweet deal, because very few will believe that men can even get aroused without his consent, or that he can be broken to do stuff against his will, so male victims are generally not taken seriously, and nowhere is there any trace of blame that will fall on the real rapist.
...so I don't believe for a second that men rape women more than women rape men. Women are just as merciless and void of respect - they just doesn't leave any trace, and can easily blame the victim instead. If anything, it wouldn't surprise me if women rape men more, because of their dominant sexual role and their absolution from blame and even doubt if they claim they've been physically forced, no matter what.
Generally, if I am to go with those I've gotten to know, they give the impression of being innocent and uncaring at the same time, often very fixated to sex, because talking about sex if their first step towards ensnaring their victims. If you as a man feel provoked and neglected by a woman, a way to solve it is to talk about it with them. Tell them that you are being sexually provoked by what they say, and ask them to stop. If they don't stop, no matter how much they say they are going to, leave them before they manage to break you. Don't overestimate yourself: No matter how strong your morals are, there's still a biological limit to your psyche, and if they can lure you into solitude with them, all it really takes is an hour or so, more or less, to make you do something you will not only regret and feel violated after doing, but also might end up in jail or worse for.
They're not easy to spot either, because that's their whole game and that's what they get off on: Playing the innocent victim that is so much sweeter and better than "big bad guilty men". The only warning signal you are probably going to get, is that they won't listen to you and won't respect you when you ask them to, because that's not innocence. That's manipulation, and they are really fully aware that they are manipulating you all the way.
BDSM peopela re polite and they take communciation seriously. Are there sexual predators? Occasionally. But owrd gets out real fast.
ANd I recall a reallys cary story a DOmme friend told. SHe had a male submissive firend whoc alled her in hysterics one morning. He had been talkign onlien with two Dommes and they had decided to meet. He had insisted on seeign ID and had brought some himself. NOTHIGN was gonna happent hat night--it was jsut ameet and greet (which is what smart people do with online acquaintnaces; they also set up safe calls, so that if you don't report in bya certian time, they call the cops). Midway through dinner, he went to the bathroom, and they finsihed eating--and he felt dizzy and nauseated. Yup you guessed it Rohypnol.
He walk up muchalter, boudn and gagged and being beaten viciously in a non-pleasurable way. He b;acked otu again. They had raped him anally and gotten him ahrd,. put on a cock ring and raped him that way (he was brusied and raw).
He woke up next mornign inhsi car. Nos ign of the women andhe coudlkn't tell anyoen how to get to heir home. Turned otu the names they gave him along with the ID s were phony. He did go to the polic and a hosptiala nd rape was conmfirmed--but they never caught the female rapists
In the cases where women have been charged with rape, there are generally three ways it happens.
First is that the women uses an intoxicated, drugged or otherwise unconscious male as, basically, a dildo. As any teenage boy will attest, human males don't exactly have precise control over when blood will start flowing to a given part of the body and it can happen when, quite frankly, we don't want it to.
Second is actual threat of force if they don't do it. Obviously rare, but men have been gang-raped by women, so one gets busy while the others hang around to carry out the threat.
Third is being in a position of authority, either by taking advantage by being in a position of influence (like a teacher, or older female relative) or using explicit threats (do it or I'll accuse you of rape/fire you/tell your wife you're having an affair).
Of course it doesn't nearly as often as women getting raped, but it does happen.
There was this one woman back when I was in college who stalked me for about a year and who I woke up with on top of me (I was drunk and she broke into my room) on two different occasions. I certainly didn't wanna have anything to do with her, but I basically shrugged it off because it was the easiest way to get her to go away (and I was really drunk). Anyhow, I checked "murky gray area" since I guess that's what it was. My biggest worry was that she might've got pregnant (thankfully that didn't happen!)
When I was a rape crisis volunteer we had a series of rapes on men by a pair of women--one held a gun on him while the other raped him!
Rape of males by females
Women also can commit an act of rape with force ordeception to make a man (or adolescent) engage in anon-consensual penetrative sexual act. According toCourt TV's Crime Library, women commit about 10% ofall sexual offenses and their abuse often involvestheir own child or children which is incest. Severalwidely publicized cases of female-male statutory rapein the United States involved school teachers rapingtheir teenage male students. One infamous exampleinvolved elementary school teacher Mary KayLetourneau, who had two children with one of herstudents, who was 13 when she began her repeatedrapes.
Rape of males by females is widely, but incorrectly,considered impossible because male erectile responseis seen as voluntary, when, in fact, it isinvoluntary. (1997). Male Rape. The National Centerfor Victims of Crime. URL accessed on 2006-3-12.Therefore, male victims of rape by females often facea social, political, and legal double-standard. Femalerapists are usually seen as much less culpable thanmale rapists by the courts. In addition, male victimsof female rape often endure a double-bind because menare considered to always want sex with a woman whichmeans that female-on-male rape can be seen, by others,as desirable. In addition, since rape by females ismuch less well known, the male victims often findlittle support from rape crisis counselors. Finally,since the incidence of female-on-male rape is onrecord at much higher rates (31% compared to 10%) inCanada, it is likely being substantiallyunder-reported in the US.
In many countries, male rape is legally classifiedunder a different law or name. However, the nature ofthe incident, and its consequences, are similar. It issaid that male rape is taken less seriously as aresult of the stereotypical views held about males inmany societies, including modern Western society.Men's rights lobbyists are pushing for tougher malerape laws, and have gained some success, but manystill feel that more work is needed to be done
False "men do and women don't" stereotypesIn Sexually Aggressive Women, 13 contributors examinefalse but pervasive gender stereotypes that hampersound rape research, that create false impressionsabout rape in legal, political and social circles, andthat prevent acknowledgement that females oppress,dominate and sexually offend too. One contributornotes that "Ignoring sexually aggressive women ignoresthat harm they cause to victims, whether male orfemale, and could even exacerbate victims' distress byimplying that their experiences are invalid ortrivial." Another contributor quotes Bell Hooks whowrote:
"Emphasizing paradigms of domination that callattention to woman's capacity of dominate is one wayto deconstruct and challenge the simplistic notionthat man is the enemy, woman the victim: the notionthat men have always been the oppressors. Suchthinking enables us to examine our role as woman inthe perpetration and maintenance of systems ofdomination."
The contributor states that research on female formsof oppression would require "acknowledging theguilt-inducing fact that not only are women oppressedbut women also oppress others."Double standards
Professionals and researchers who deal withrape-victims have noted a number of social, political,and legal double standards about rape:
* The rape of a child by their parent (see incest)is treated as being much less serious than rape bystrangers of adults. * Female rapists are often falsely held to bementally ill and in need of treatment, while malerapists are typically considered sane and fullyculpable by default. * The rape of a male by an attractive aggressor iscommonly regarded as a popular male fantasy(particularly among adolescents). As a result,criminal penalties are often less severe when the malevictim is held to be sexually-oriented to the accused.This is especially true in cases involvingaquaintances and minors (where aggressors often defendtheir actions as earnest expressions of "love"). (seeMary Kay Letourneau) * Accused rapists are typically identified in thepress immediately, while their accuser is grantedanonymity (rape shield law) (see Kobe Bryant who laterapologized to the alleged victim). Criticized as beingunconstitutional, the absence of equal anonymity foraccuser and defendant is seen as encouraging thetrying of the accused in the court of public opinion.In highly publicized cases, critics argue that thispolicy may even ensure that a fair trial cannotpossibly take place. Critics level that the imbalanceallows for unrestricted false rape allegations(damaging even after being found to be untrue) byconsensual sexual partners seeking vengeance forextra-legal wrong-doing.
Female rapist and abuser profiles
Court TV's Crime Library lists 6 types of female-malesex offenders based on research by psychiatrist JanetWarren and psychologist Julia Hislop.
* Facilitators - women who intentionally aid menin gaining access to children for sexual purposes. * Reluctant partners - women in long termrelationships who go along with the sexualexploitation of a minor out of fear of beingabandoned. * Initiating partners - women who want to sexuallyoffend against a child and who may do it themselves orget a man or another woman to do it while they watch. * Seducers and lovers - women who direct theirsexual interest against adolescents and develop anintense attachment. * Pedophiles - women who desire an exclusive andsustained sexual relationship with a child. * Psychotics - women who suffer from a mentalillness and who have innapropriate sexual contact withchildren as a result.
Warning signs for potential female rapists
According to Network LaRed woman on woman rape anddomestic violence abusers exhibit certain behavior,including:
* Violent, negative verbal outbursts, throwsobjects, violates other's privacy, steals and/orbreaks objects. * Separating themselves from family in order toavoid jealous behavior. * Exhibiting behavior that is overly co-dependentin terms of money, and desires a close friend/relativeto be dependent of them (or vice versa). * Not allowing a close friend/relative access tomedications or health care. * Claiming alcohol or drug abuse as an excuse forviolent behavior. * Uses guilt to force others into decisions. * Humiliates others intentionally. * Blatant disrespect of personal boundaries. * Controlling, manipulative behavior.
This behaviour includes, but is not limited to,mothers or care givers who abuse their children.
Psychologists who research female-male, andfemale-female rape suggest that significantunder-reporting of these crimes is occurring. Theysuggest that the double standards in perception thatexist between male and female rape, the taboo nature(see incest) of some female rapes, and the lack ofrapist-gender reporting in many jurisdictionscontribute to this alleged under reporting in theUnited States. Canadian researcher, LindaHalliday-Sumner suggests from the slowing emerginginformation about female sex crimes, that women commitabout one third (or about 33%) of all sexual offenses.However, she notes that in Canada, just 19 of 4545 (orjust 0.4%) of federal prisoners convicted of sexoffenses were women in 1997.
Female Sex Offenders
* Pearson, Patricia, When She Was Bad: ViolentWomen and the Myth of Innocence, Viking Adult, 1997. * Adams, Ken, Silently Seduced: When Parents Maketheir Children Partners-Understanding Covert Incest,HCI, 1991. * Anderson, Peter B., and Struckman-Johnson Cindy,Sexually Aggressive Women: Current Perspectives andControversies, Guilford, 1998. * Kierski, Werner, Female Violence: Can WeTherapists Face Up to it?, Counseling andPsychotherapy Journal, 12/2002. * Rosencrans, Bobbie, The Last Secret: DaughtersSexually Abused by Mothers, Safer Society, 1997. * Miletski, Hani, Mother-Son Incest: TheUnthinkable Broken Taboo, Safer Society, 1999. * Elliot, Michelle, Female Sexual Abuse ofChildren, Guilford, 1994 * Hislop, Julia, Female Sex Offenders: WhatTherapists, Law Enforcement and Child ProtectiveServices Need to Know, Issues Press, 2001.
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